interview with ViRginTuRtleWhoRe

What´s the name of your band? ViRginTuRtleWhoRe
How was the band formed? One night NioX and Paskkal went to a gay bar to become prostitutes and make money but we made no money so we decided to remain poor and to start a band instead.
Can you tell about your band? It is very experimental and very entertaining. It is a band like no other.
Where are all band members from?/Who does what in the band?
Paskkal (the one typing): I'm from Canada originally but I've lived here in Puerto Vallarta for most of my life. I play drums and am a vocalist of the band.
NioX: It's a native of Puerto Vallarta and it is the vocalist and it rolls around on the floor sometimes.
The Unk: It's also from Puerto Vallarta and it's the guitarist.
Doña C'anobhya: It's from Tijuana and it drops the bass when it slips from it's hands.
What was the ambitions of the band when you started? To make as much noise as possible and possibly learn to play music at the same time.
Could you explain your music to someone that haven't heard you? Not really... It's mostly death metal sounding but it has so many elements that are unrelated that it's hard to describe. Imagine if a teletubby was kidnapped, tortured and force fed the foreskins of Philipino boys and then somehow escaped and found other teletubbies that were kidnapped and violated in a similar manner and then they decide to make a band but realize that they don't know how to play instruments so they start to watch youtube videos of power rangers and play with themselves and.... wait I think I lost my train of thought....
Where was your first gig? At a restaurant/bar called L'Opera which had a small cinema room and the concert was inside that room. It was on Oct 30th 2004.
Where was the latest gig? In Tepic about a month ago. It was in a parking lot behind a restaurant called 'La Choperia'. It was a really good gig and we had a lot of fun.
Who writes your songs?/ who writes the music who writes lyrics? Everyone is involved but it depends. Most of the time I (Paskkal) write the songs on guitar first and make a powertab score for it then add the rest after. Both me and NioX write the lyrics, usually the stuff in english is my writing and the stuff in spanish is NioX.
Who has the best sence of humor in the band? The cockroach that lives in our practice room definitely. He likes to masterbate as he watches us and throws pennys at us. I guess he's not really in the band though.... Maybe the evil clown that lurks in the corner staring at us, he's a clown so I guess he's funny but we try to ignore him because we don't know where he's from or how he got there...
What's good/bad with the band?/What genre do you feel you are?
It's good to make whatever music we want to, and have fun with people at our shows. It's bad that it is very expensive to have a band. We don't have a genre because we like to experiment with everything but if I have to choose one I would say definitely 'Christian Transgender Hermaphrodite Midget Bukkake BDSM Tuna'
Why did you pick that particular style?/What are your songs about? My cat just told me to pick that one. Our songs are about lots of things. Some contain nonsense. Some are satire. Some are aimed at the nonsensical posture of man and his defiance to comply with logic and natural sistems and egocentric sense of accomplishment from doing so. Our newest album 'Evolution' is a loose concept album based on Evolution believe it or not. Our next album will be called 'Extinction' and will have a more binding concept where every song is about some absurd scenario in which mankind becomes extinct.
Have you made any albums?/If yes what are they? We have two full length albums and a demo to date. Our demo is called Evoluphobia, the first album is called Evoluphilia and contains the songs of the demo but re-recorded. The second album is Evolution which we released in 2012.
Do you have any clips on YouTube? Lots! We have several live clips and we have two music videos.
How old are you?/What got you started in music? I'm 6 and a half. I got started in music because one day I stubbed my toe and it hurt so I screamed and decided that I could call that singing and become a rock star and then I would never stub my toe again because I would have some asistant or intern or something to stub their toe instead of mine.
At what age did you start playing? I started playing with myself right after birth.
What year was the band started? In 2004.
What places will you be playing in in the imidate future? On the 8th of november we will be playing here in Puerto Vallarta then on the 15th we have our 10th birthday of the band so we are having a huge party/concert/orgy. On the 22nd we have another gig here at home.
Is it always the same songs live? There are some songs that we tend to play in almost every show but we like to switch the setlist up because we have a lot of songs to choose from.
What has been the best/most promising gig so far? That time we played in Ozzfest because there were millions of fans screaming for us and girls showing boobs everywhere and then this unicorn flew over the stage and pooped on NioX and he started rubbing it all over himself for good luck. Now that I think of it that might have been a dream....
How big crowds do you usually play for? Some of the guys are quite large... maybe 100kg?
What are the plans for the rest of the year? I plan on sleeping for about a 1/3 of that time, and I will probably eat a few times as well. I will inevitably have to shit at some point. Perhaps I will masturbate while looking at it.
Where do you usually play? I usually play behind my drumkit
How do you get psyched up for a gig? I watch any documentary by David Attenborough while masturbating.
What are your goals with your music? It would be nice to live off of our music. That we I would have more time to devout myself to counting the hairs on my toes.
Is it easier to get your inspiration from older bands or from bands more modern? I would say more modern but a bit of both. Older bands paved the way for newer bands, so they need credit for that, but I tend to listen to more modern bands.
What are your sources of inspiration? Marshmallows, farts, that feeling you get when you stand up really fast.
What's the first step when making a new song? Usually just picking up the guitar.
How do you feel about the downloading of music instead of buying albums?I download a lot of music, but if I like an album I buy it and especially so if the band is not very well known because I know that it makes a big difference. Any time I go to a concert and see a band that I like I try to buy an album off of them. A lot of people seem to find it hard to shell out 10 dollars for a cd but they don't mind spending that on cigarettes or beer or whatever. Those things will give you satisfaction for a little while. An album can give you happiness for a lifetime.
What would be your dreams for the band? If we would wake up one day with superpowers we could use them to play pranks on people and scare small children.
Besides your own music, what genres and bands do you listen to? Anything really. Some of the bands on my mp3 player at the moment are Killitorous, Ulcerate, Kayo Dot, Dysrhythmia, The Bloody Beetroots, Mindless Self Indulgence, Carnival in Coal, Tool, Testament, Igorrr, Pryapisme, Anomalous, etc.
What would be your greatest fears for the future? Medical advances that would allow people to live much longer and erradicate most illness would be terrifying. More people alive = more problems for earth.
When you are on stage, what do you fear most then? Dropping my drumstick. And bears.
Have you been part of any other projects? Many! All the members of VTW except NioX play in two other bands together which are Burnt to Ashes and Vallarta Pussy Ranch. I have my own solo electronic project called Violent Acts of Randomness.
What do you work with outside of the band and the music? I'm a tour guide.
What would you do if there was no music? Play guitar?
How important are your fans? Puerto Vallarta is very hot so having no fans is a real problem you need at least one to sleep at night.
How often do you rehearse? Once a week, every week.
Where do you rehearse? I built a practice room at my house.
Name 2 of your own songs you like at the moment? I guess I always like the newest ones the best so I'll go with Poultry Rapist and Precoz.
What do you feel is the best live band you've seen? Hella
What drives a band that isn't all that famous and renowned to try to make a living on their music and to keep playing? Stubborness? Music is my passion so I really don't see myself doing anything else.
Do you have any webpages?
We have a bandcamp page from which you can download our music:
http://virginturtlewhore.bandcamp.com
Any pearls of wisdom for all other bands out there? Invest in good equipment and try to learn a bit about music production because you can do it yourself for cheap nowadays you just need to spend a long time learning.
Describe your show, visually and musically? Musically we are very energetic. We play very fast and loud music but we are dynamic and have lots of unexpected twists. We all wear costumes to play live, everyone has it's own persona. This allows us to lose all inibitions and be as crazy as possible. NioX is always interacting with the audience and there is usually someone naked at some point or other.
How do you view the music industry of today? It is changing immensely. Some of it for good, some for bad. You will never have big costly productions for metal bands anymore because it is not popular music. Getting signed to a label is a thing of the past. This is a good thing. Although pop music is getting more and more generic as the industry clings for life the underground scene is as free as ever because most bands are producing their own records so they have the freedom to do whatever they want and don't have to share profits with big companies so they don't have to worry so much about sales.
What advice would you like to give other bands? Learn to produce music on a professional level. It's not easy, if it was everyone would do it. It also very costly so get a good job or rob a bank maybe.
What are the biggest obstacles for a band? Time and money. To play in a band you need money for equipment, transportation, recording, etc. so you need to work to get money and if you work you have limited time to dedicate to your band.
What is your favorite crappy instrument? My anus
Do you have anything to add? Thanks for the interview. It's always nice to share with others. Download our albums, it's free! Next time you go to a gig and see a band that you like buy something from them. Maybe a sticker or a patch or something if you don't have much money but believe me, every little bit helps and bands that are touring really need the help.

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