Robex Lundgren virkblogg.

How was the band formed? A very structured and organised auditing process with strict employment criteria. There was also a buffet involved somehow.

Where are all band members from? Who does what in the band?

Tetanus Jabb- Vocals and rhythm guitar

Bloody Sunday- Lead guitar and backing vocals

Colin Th’underskull- Bass and backing vocals

Vigorous Foot-Job- Drums and percussion

Wooden Chef- Catering

We’re all now based in Sheffield, UK

What were the ambitions of the band when you started? All we really wanted was to prove to the world that metal isn't just a genre of music, but it's also a hat. Metal can be whatever you want it to be, regardless of head size.

Could you explain your music to someone that hasn’t heard you? Easy-listening-lounge-metal. Go figure.

Where was your first gig? We played a club in Sheffield called South Sea Live. We had gotten a lot of press beforehand from the internet and people sending round Black Metal Interior Design, and so we ended up with around 60 people come to our first gig. Tetanus Jabb forgot a lot of the words and how to play guitar.

Where was the latest gig? We played a string of shows between January and March, some in Sheffield, UK and some in Brighton, UK. We had awesome crowds for all of them, and had a great reception when we weren’t in Sheffield- the last crowd we played to looked a bit confused at it all though. It was a Sunday…

What's good/bad with the band? Good- a live show to be proud of, a cult following of nutjobs, and the underground status which allows us to shout about C-list celebrities without fear of legal ramifications. Bad- Wooden Chef’s crippling solvent addiction. We wrote the song Eat Wood Glue about his struggle.  

What are your songs about? Various topics. We love to pay homage to things that are usually not addressed in music and especially metal, such as cancelled TV shows and the British carpet industry, however we mainly muck about with sounds and force genres together that shouldn’t go together, like easy listening and metal.

Have you made any albums? If yes what are they? We made our first album Sheepcore a while back which had the infamous Black Metal Interior Design. It sounds like it was recorded inside a dog. We then made Pestilence II: Nostalgia of the Apocalypse where we re-recorded some of our pre-Sheepcore stuff and that sounds a lot nicer.

How old were you guys when you first stood on stage? I think Bloody Sunday was pushing 78-ish perhaps.

Best/worst gig you've played? Mr. Sunday was vomiting blood for an hour straight one time, but we powered through and finished the set, albeit a little messy.

What has been the best/most promising gig so far? Our Christmas With Satan gigs that we’ve played at Christmas for the last two years have been amazing- who knew a crowd could mosh to a song about decorating?

What are the plans for the rest of the year? We’ve starting recording again- it’s been a while since we put something new out so we’ve got that coming up. Our overall sound has changed so much since the days of Sheepcore so we figured it’s about time we re-did those, and some new stuff as well.

How do you get psyched up for a gig? A few hours of greyhound racing and a jar of Bovril. We then talk about what we’re going to do for the show and then someone usually vomits. That’s when we know we’re ready.

What are your goals with your music? We want to spread our unique flavour of sound as far around the planet as we can. Then we plan to head to other planets and spread across those as well. Then, once all beings with ears on all planets are exhausted, we will begin making music aimed at micro-organisms.

When did you decide to go all in for the music? A few years ago we thought we should get a time-share in a Swiss Chalet. Turns out it wasn’t as good as we thought it would be and ended up signing our souls away to a time-share firm. We were a little stuck then.

What are your sources of inspiration? We draw inspiration from many places. Sometimes Tetanus Jabb will awaken in the middle of the night with a piece of paper with a musical idea mysteriously stuck in his throat. Other times, Bloody Sunday will go for a five day excursion into the Sahara desert, and return inspired to write a song about curtains. Mostly, the curtain tracks are vetoed, but you get the idea.

What's the first step when making a new song? Usually Bloody Sunday will smother his face in honey before picking up a guitar and lying horizontally atop his house and wait for his face to be covered in bees before he feels comfortable churning out a riff to base a song on.

What would be your dreams for the band? Wooden Chef often reports of horrible Calpol-induced nightmares where he sees Colin chopping him up for firewood, whilst Vigorous Footjob plays a swanny whistle, and Tetanus Jabb and Bloody Sunday play table tennis, laughing maniacally. They’re not comfortable.

Besides your own music, what genres and bands do you listen to? Mostly Muzak and easy listening stuff along with acid jazz and field recordings of rural Shropshire.

What do you hold most dear? Deer.

What would be your greatest fears for the future? A great collective fear is that Carol Vorderman will never return to Countdown, and we will live out the rest of our days under the iron fist of Rachel Riley.

When you are on stage, what do you fear most then? That one of us dies. That wouldn’t be good. And is worryingly likely.

What do you work with outside of the band and the music? Tetanus Jabb herds sheep. Bloody Sunday collects rusty nails and tends to his potato garden. Colin Thunderskull is a children's entertainer. Vigorous Footjob sits in a dark room and recites poetry to himself, mostly. Wooden Chef works in a call centre for BT.

What would you do if there was no music? Look like violent mimes onstage, thrashing our instruments about.

How important are your fans? Extremely! Without them we wouldn't be here, and the 25000+ of them who have watched Black Metal Interior Design kicked our career into gear in the first place!

Name 2 of your own songs you like at the moment? Elevaterror was a song off Sheepcore that we wrote a few years ago. Now we’ve got round to re-recording it, the joy of it is flooding back. One of our newest and currently unreleased songs is called A Song For Petnuia, and is a heavy, doom-inspired track, with breaks into lounge interludes. The concept revolves around a man who travels around in a caravan called Petunia, committing horrific murders. However, the twist is that he is also in love with said caravan.

What drives a band that isn't all that famous and renowned to try to make a living on their music and to keep playing? We do it for our fans. The experience of seeing people shouting lines like 'sacrifice a goat to Llawrence Llwelyn Bowen!' back at us and meowing on cue makes it all worthwhile.

Describe your show, visually and musically Visually, think black metal meets London Zoo meets a 1970s aerobics video. Musically, think think black metal meets London Zoo meets a 1970s aerobics video.

What is best/worst with playing the clubs? We’ve had to get changed in some really small rooms. There was a phase we went through when we were changing in a disabled toilet full of four other band’s gear. Bloody Sunday is just shy of 10ft tall now and so the low mirror and sink really weren’t very practical. 

How would you describe your sound in one sentence? Always metal, except for the times when it's not, at which point it is usually something else.

What is your favourite crappy instrument? Hoover.

What was one of the most quarrelsome times for you in the band? It’s always unfortunately got to be with Wooden Chef. As much as we love him and he’s our brother, we’re all completely different from him musically and his way of life. Our solicitors have said we can’t say any more.

What’s your pre-show ritual? Black candles around a stone table, a good hour of chanting, brief goat sacrifice then a few rounds of Boggle before hitting the stage.

Do you have any clips on YouTube?

Of course we do! You must’ve heard this one…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz3EZipUKKY

Do you have any webpages? We do indeed! We have Facebook (www.facebook.com/bleatingapocalypse), YouTube (www.youtube.com/user/BleatingApocalypse), Twitter (@sheepcore) and BandCamp (bleatingapocalypse.bandcamp.com/)!